What Disturbs Me The Most

Not fully child-exploitation focused, but these notes are mainly my personal journal anyway

I sit in a comfortable study studio in a lovely garden forest with balance and health abound,
and thousands of baby chicks are thrown into a conveyer belt 24/7

I will be leaving the studio, destroying my art, and packing minimally to go push back against this deep injustice. This is a war. This is wholly and truly a war. Even down to the doubts I have that this isn't a war.

The war of it all runs so deep.
I look around at the world, and wonder if my contributions are even welcome, despite the wholesome nature of them. I see a society who is set in their path, so why care?

There's excellent reasons to not care. My brain still cannot fathom factory farming and OEA. I'm not even sure it's real. There's entire solid philosophies that I agree with on why we should prioritize our peace, and a good chunk of people's work is directed towards personal success. So maybe I should let go a little bit, and just breathe and focus on myself. Lies.
"You were crouching at my door"
"I know who you are now"

The reason I care is because animals and children have done nothing wrong.
And if there is even one of these who are somewhere in darkness then it's worth it to make a scene over it.

That's why I fucking care. I got overwhelmed by it again, as happens DAILY. I was trying to donate $9 to an org that provides training on anti child trafficking rescue, and I just remembered how strange and overwhelming the nature of this beast is. This beast I try to fight. I face dragons, because I face every problem. I left an entire religion and God over this. My entire music taste and worldview is shaped by this.

So let me refer to the many maps and models I've made for the antiexploitation life and antiexploitation culture to see how I can continue making an impact in all things I do. My life being antiexploitation. There are many people who would understand my pain vaguely. There are some who will truly understand. I fight for them too. I fight for the people who share my demons who I've never met. Really, the demons belong to us all. These injustices are everyone's problem, and everyone has the power to do something about it, regardless of what the hopeless whispers will have you think.

Evan
September 27th, 2026